Dear Annie: Grandma should offer support, instead of criticism, to help grandson live a healthy life

Dear Annie: My 32-year-previous daughter is not viewing my 10-year-previous grandson’s diet regime and is permitting him to grow to be overweight. When I introduced it up, she replied in a pretty defensive method that she does not want him to be self-conscious or concerned about how he appears. I was taken aback by this comment and her tone, and I walked absent from the conversation for the reason that I could convey to I had hit a nerve.

She also permits unlimited screen time and online video games. This is yet another subject matter of terrific issue to me, but she doesn’t believe everything of it.

I fret about my grandson’s classmates calling him hurtful names. And I be concerned about his in general overall health.

I really feel helpless, and my heart breaks for him.

All I can do now is pray and, through the infrequent visits, do the very best I can to deliver him healthier foods and each day exercising.

I gather some of the pounds get is owing to emotional eating. He has informed me that my daughter places a great deal of responsibility on him as the oldest of 4. He is liable whilst she and her spouse rest in their place. She is the sole service provider. Her husband, my grandson’s stepdad, has been unemployed going on a person calendar year. Do you have any strategies for how to boost factors? — Discouraged Grandmother

Expensive Annoyed Grandmother: Your daughter has very a ton likely on. Four small children and an unemployed husband is no simple feat. I’m not positive why she and her spouse relaxation in their room, but you may want to see if despair is at play. What your daughter desires is enable, not criticism. You are appropriate that if your grandson have been to weigh considerably less, you could likely help you save him from some hurtful identify-calling. And your daughter is correct to keep the concentrate off your grandson’s looks. But the concentration really should be put on his health, as lasting body weight improvements occur from the inside of out.

Your grandson and your daughter want appreciate and aid. After you present that you are on their side, not sitting down in the judge’s chair, you can definitely enable. Grandparents can have a extremely positive affect on their grandchild. It appears like your grandson feels a exclusive bond with you, and you can cultivate that if you consider and go to much more frequently.

Limitless screen time has been recognised to lead to pounds get, while issues like team sports are a great way to make friends, get off the monitor and improve well being. Question your daughter whether or not she would like aid signing your grandson up for sports leagues or having him to these activities.

Expensive Annie: I have been with my husband for 40 yrs and married for 30 of them. I just lately identified out he has a son two months younger than our son. He suggests he didn’t know about the child until eventually months right after the little one was adopted and promises he truly didn’t feel the female was expecting.

I am devastated and unsure of how I need to go forward. I experience our overall existence was a lie.

He claims he is sorry and needs to work earlier this. It turns out that he was dishonest on me with this woman for at least 4 years. He said it was only intercourse and nothing more.

We have been young when we began dating — I was 18, and he was 19. I know this took place 30 many years back, but I just observed out. What do you advise we do to get previous this? — Devastated in PA

Dear Devastated in PA: Wow, I am so sorry you are working with this. The information is unquestionably traumatic. Your husband’s apology and want to remain jointly is a good starting off place for moving ahead, but you will have to have time and assistance for this wound to mend. I advise looking at a licensed relationship counselor alongside one another.

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